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Five Sex Tips for the Vulvodynia Sufferer

Couple in bed laughing hiding under white sheets


The thought having sex when you have Vulvodynia isn’t the most pleasant idea. You unfortunately know how this event will turn out.  Initiation, foreplay and then hesitation followed by burning, stabbing pain. The severe pain ruins the moment each and every time.

Here are a few tips to make sex easier from a six-year Vulvodynia Sufferer

Find a lubricant that is safe

Most drug store lubricants contain ingredients that actually can cause irritation and allergic reactions, especially when you have pelvic pain conditions. After meeting with several Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist, they explained to me that a water based, glycerin and paraben free lubricant is a safe choice. Michelle Guevin PT, DPT, MHSc, MTC and Veronica Houghton PT, DTP both recommend Slippery Stuff Lubricants. After suffering with Vulvodynia for over 6 years, I agree Slippery Stuff is a great lubricant.

Keep Penetrating

Even though penetration hurts, keep doing it. I know this is easier said than done. A few things that can happen when you have a pelvic pain condition: you start to engage in less intercourse and you start to associate sex with pain. Overtime, you can actually make the condition worse because every time you think of sex, your pelvic muscles tighten. Vaginismus is a common condition among women with Vulvodynia.When a woman has vaginismus, the muscle walls of her vagina contract or spasm in response to attempted insertion, for example, with a tampon or Penis. This involuntary muscle contraction can be mildly uncomfortable or it may cause searing or tearing pain. Don’t worry! If you cannot have sex, you can use a vaginal dilator.

Use Vaginal Dilators

Vaginal Dilators are a simple device every woman with Vulvodynia should own. If you are not sexually active, a vaginal dilator can accomplish the same goals of penetration that are necessary. When you use a dilator, soft tissue lengthens, relaxing muscles and ligaments. As the tissue relaxes, the Neodymium magnets increase blood flow to the painful area calming nerves. It is clinically proven that VuVa neodymium dilators decrease Vulvodynia pain twice as much as dilators without magnets. These magnetic vaginal dilators saved my sex life and are now recommended by Pelvic Floor Physical Therapists.

VuVa Magnetic Dilators $44-$289 https://www.vuvatech.com/collections/frontpage

See a Pelvic Physical Therapist or Physiotherapist

Visiting a Pelvic Floor Physical therapist is a crucial part in diagnosing why you are having painful intercourse. They are specifically trained in pelvic floor conditions. After an evaluation, they can tell you whether your muscles, nerves or joints are causing your pelvic pain issues. Common treatments include vaginal dilators, biofeedback, manual therapy and exercises. Pelvic Floor Physical Therapists usually have more training in Pelvic Pain conditions that gynecologists. They can help make sex more comfortable and in some cases, completely cure your Vulvodynia.

Here is a Physical Therapist Locator for USA and Canada https://www.vuvatech.com/pages/pelvic-pt-locator

Educate Your Partner

Make sure you are with a partner who is understanding and caring about your Vulvodynia. Therapy can take time. Be open with your partner about your condition and educate them on your exercises and what happens during your physical therapy sessions and doctors appointments. Let them know which positions are most comfortable for you.

Happy Healing!

Tara Langdale Schmidt

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